Ordinary Tuesdays--Giving your kids a break!

Behind my bathroom mirror I have various quotes, which have spoken to me over the years, taped on it. The one quote which has continued to shape me as a mother is the quote about letting kids experience Ordinary Tuesdays. Meaning, not over involving them in activities so they never get to experience a "plain, old, boring ordinary Tuesday".  Most often it is within the everyday simplicity where families connect and bond.

As an adult, I long for ordinary Tuesdays! I can't wait for days where I have nothing to do and no obligations, no phone calls and no engagements. These are the days which I am most creative, relaxed and free of stress. I tend to think I would probably live longer if all my days were Ordinary Tuesdays!

But what about our kids? Don't we want them to be involved in everything they are interested in? Sure, but have you asked an 8 year old what they truly want to spend their time doing? My guess is they aren't going to want to spend 2 hours playing the piano, 3 hours practicing basketball, 2 hours studying French or 2 hours dancing ballet. Most children just want to be a child and play. We have taken away this precious part of childhood by forcing kids into an endless array of activity. What they need is an ordinary Tuesday! Time which they can shape and form however they wish.

I know many moms who feel everyday they need to entertain their children. They run them to the playgrounds around town, to the playcenters, to the pools and waterslides, to everyplace far and away from home. They are trying desperately to create "a memory" for their kids.  Yet, truth be known...most of these kids yearn to spend a "boring" and simple day at home. Home should be their sanctuary...the one special place in the world where they are safe, protected and can be loved for themselves. It is here where kids develop into functioning, well-adjusted adults who are grounded. Believe me, this doesn't happen at the local waterslide or in the back of a mini-van on the way to yet another practice!

Giving your children ordinary Tuesdays helps create the specialness of those occasions when you do participate in an activity or go to a park. These simple days allows kids to re-energize, regroup and process what their life is about. If we are always on the run, our children become overstimulated and soon are desensitized to the world. It is their only way of coping...being overly active/stimulated becomes their only way to understand life. These children grow into adults who become the work-a-holics and the over-committed parent. We all know people like this and maybe are even one of them.

All of us want to help various organizations and causes; we all want to belong to different groups and clubs; we all want to pursue our passionate hobbies, but we need to set limits and boundaries so there are some ordinary Tuesdays scheduled into our week. This makes us healthier and happier.

I'm a firm believer in ordinary Tuesdays and have tried to hold true to this principle in my parenting. Last week, it became evident that my children have embraced this principle as well if not better than I. It was spring break for our kids but we had recently done a large family vacation earlier this winter, so we had no plans of going any where during the school scheduled spring break. Yet, I found myself planning out some fun little day trips and outings for us. After the third day, the kids begged me to stay home and do nothing all day! For a moment, I had forgotten my own preaching...but my children saved me AND them for over activity and over stimulation! We spent the next couple of days doing nothing in particular. The kids played, read, ran outside and did all those things which kids love to do on a simple, ordinary Tuesday afternoon!

I appreciated the boys asking me for down time and I appreciate that they honor it and recognize the value of an ordinary Tuesday. I hope they pass this little bit of wisdom down through the generations.